Reply to Do you regret not being more hard-charging / leaning in in your career?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a similar HHI and I've made the decision to earn less but be available for my kids. No regrets so far, and I doubt I'll have any later. While I stress about affording things like college, we cover the basics okay at our income level and I really value being around for their childhood.[/quote]

Also have a similar HHI, also am the breadwinner and mom to a small child.  It's too soon for me to evaluate regrets, but right now I'm confident this is the right choice.  I'm actually hoping to "lean back" more once DC gets into school, so that I can do pick-up and go to school events -- not sure we can afford it, but that's my hope.  I actually am not worried about college: we have 529 accounts set up for grandparents to contribute to, and we put a few dollars in there every month too.  If it turns out DC "has to" attend public university (as DH and I both did) I am ok with that, but I also hope to help DC pursue scholarships (as I did) for academics, community service activities, scouting, etc.  In my mind, that's one way unpaid parental involvement eventually does bring in some money.

FWIW, before I got married I was on the partner track at a law firm and pulling down much more than our current HHI.  I did not want children.  But I quit the firm because I needed to "lean back" to make time for my health, my relationship with now-DH and my friends and family, and just general sanity.  That was years ago and I have never regretted that choice, even now that we have the expenses of a child, day care, etc.

I do worry a little about needing two incomes, and what would happen if either DH or I lost our jobs: we could do ok on my salary but would be very uncomfortable on his.  Having a more secure, less volatile (but lower paying) job that I'm really good at makes me feel slightly better about that.

Finally, regarding your comments on a nest egg, my parents still work and are very concerned about leaving me money and property when they die.  I am not interested: I would so much rather they retire and visit us and hang out with their grandchild as much as possible. [/quote]

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