Reply to I'm seriously worried about my sister's mental health...what is the best way to help her?

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[quote=Anonymous]Backstory: my sister is in her early 30's, with 2 kids under 3, pregnant with her third.  She wants 4, despite the fact that she is totally drowning now, to the point that I'm concerned about her kids.  Her husband is a law partner and is gone constantly; she stays at home.  Kids have no nap schedule, no bedtime (she lets them stay up until they fall asleep downstairs, then takes them up), which I have no issue with in theory (well, I wouldn't do it, but I know some people make it work), but in reality it's a hot mess-constant meltdowns and her in tears because her kids are screaming and crying at 2 in the afternoon when she's out to lunch.  Her house is FILTHY, but she won't hire help because she stays at home and feels like she should be able to take care of it.  I go over to her house frequently, and always find the kids in desperate need of a diaper change, a nose-blow, cupboards empty.  Gentle enquiries as to this result in her saying that DC1 or DC2 was crying and she didn't feel up to going to the store-she would just order something for dinner.  Again, not totally bad in theory, but she's doing this all the time, AND wants to add 2 more kids to the mix.  She admits she sometimes feels overwhelmed, but she's going for 4 "if it kills her" because that's her dream.  She refuses to have more than a 2 year age gap between the kids, and so far has been successful.  I feel like she is on a path to crazy town, and am genuinely worried about her, and her kids.  I've reached out to her husband, but he doesn't really seem plugged into the family (he's never given the kids a bath on his own!).  This is all so removed from my life I don't know how to help her.  I try to talk to her, be her shoulder, but I'm really at a point that I don't think she should have more kids until she can get her sh!t together.  What is the best way to talk to her without upsetting her further, and the best way to help her?  I love her very much, and this person seems very far removed from the woman who graduated summa cum laude from a top 10 university, and has 2 masters.  She just totally changed after the birth of her first child 3 years ago.  Thoughts?[/quote]

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