Reply to Help me end this problem - MIL laments not seeing grandchild, though chooses not to?

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[quote=Anonymous]MIL lives near us and likes to see her only grandchild, my 1 yo DS. Weekly, she will ask when she can see him.

I say, "Great, when would you like to see him?" MIL will then explain that she is busy! Busy busy busy! I say "Okay, wow! you sound busy!" Then I get periodic text messages where she tells me how much she misses him followed by how busy she is! A pet peeve of mine is when people are just so BUSY all the time and have to tell me about it! These text messages generally continue throughout the week, until she decides to show up at my house with no notice. She'll tell me she's down the street and can she stop by? I can't hide that I'm home, because the car sits very obviously out front. So then she wants to come over and see DS and now I'm hosting her, but generally ignored while she exclusively talks to DS. I'm a huge introvert and would prefer to not have these visits in our small living space especially if they could be avoided. While she's there she'll explain that she just doesn't have much time! (because obviously busy busy busy). Then she'll leave and lament how she doesn't get to see him enough and she doesn't know when she'll get to see him again because she's BUSY. And if we areout of town for a week? Well then she's sad that she can't see him while we are out of town.

She is self employed wth a part time business that she owns (think something freelance like a chef/catering/etc). Work is more of a hobby at this point in her life - not a source of income/need. So she is choosing to work instead of see DS. Which is fine!!!! I do not expect her to see, raise, sit, watch, entertain my child! Just wish that she would pick her priorities and stick with them. If she wants to work every day and then socialize all weekend long, good for her! But stop telling me how much you miss my kid. He's here! You just choose to do other things! (rant over.)

Additionally she and her husband have decided to retire and move abroad. Move will occur within the next 12 months. They have purchased a house and close this month. So part of me thinks this is obviously a short term problem as this back and forth cannot exist after they move. So I should just suck it up and deal with it as she means well.

The other part of me wants to find a way to encourage structure to these visits so I can stop this game of texting and her cycle of emotions involving missing DC and not seeing him. IE DS is available every Friday from x-x, let me know if Friday works. I can drop him off at your house. However that seems indelicate and pushy. It sounds like I am demanding free childcare.

What would you do?

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