Reply to Should stepmother help adults financially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Regardless of the parents income, these 20 somethings need to stop asking for hand outs. They need to get their own jobs and provide for themselves. What financial assistance are they asking for??! [/quote]

One wants to quit his job and move in with dad and stepmom so he can more pursue acting. He also wants to go back to school for an MFA but he thinks loans are a bad idea and doesn't want to be in debt. The daughter wants cash so she can move out of her mother's house and get a nicer car than the old one dad gave her 5 years ago.[/quote]

Did you & DH talk about this before getting married? Presumably there was some discussion of how much of his money and assets would be available to dedicate to his new wife & new family he's creating with her vs how much he needs/wants to spend on children from prior marriage? If he had wanted to provide ongoing, major financial support to his adult children, he should have been upfront about that in the courtship process - having an adult child live at home, paying for a graduate degree, buying a car - those are big expenses and a lot of resources to divert out of the marriage.

Anyway, I wouldn't want to provide that to my own grown children and I certainly wouldn't appreciate my husband bank-rolling that kind of dependency in fully able bodied adults, at the expense of our actually dependent children, but your DH should be the one to tell his children no and he should have his own reasons for turning down their requests - he shouldn't blame you or his new children. [/quote]

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