Reply to I've never met my real father & I resent my mom for it

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[quote=Anonymous]So a quick back story-
I am 25 and up until I was 18, I didn't know who my real father was. My mom married my step dad when I was 7 and I have always just considered him my "real father" as he has been in my life since I was 5 and is really the only father I have ever known. When I was 18, I came across a baby book of mine and saw some pictures of me with my real father and it had his name on the back. I asked my mom about him and she was always so vague, just telling me that "he's not a good guy" and that's it. When I was 19, I found him on myspace and we started messaging back and forth and I found out that I have three half siblings. As we talked more and more, he started pretty much bashing my mom and telling me all of these things about how she took me from him, etc. I didn't like the things he was starting to say so I stopped talking to him. Fast forward about 2 years later and he started harassing both my mom and step dad via phone calls. He was calling our house and hanging up and was also calling my dad's business and doing the same. One night, he called our house phone 10+ times and my parent's called the police. Nothing really came about it as he stopped and they officer pretty much just said to tell him to stop or they would press charges. Around that time, my mom told me a bit of a back story about him being arrested multiple times for fraud and how he was a scammer and all of this. A simple google search showed that she was correct and obviously I wanted nothing to do with him. Well about a year ago, he started trying to add me on every social media site that he possibly could. Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, etc. I block his account but he ends up making new accounts. He sent me a FB message about 9 months ago telling me how I deserve to know the truth and all he wants is a phone call with me, etc. I just ignored it. Now fast forward to yesterday, I woke up to an email saying that again he was trying to add me on FB and when I logged in, I saw that he had messaged me also. The message was pretty much him begging for me to just give him 15 minutes and how now that I am 25, he thinks that I should give him the chance to tell his side of the story and how he raised me for the first 2 years of my life and how he bets I didn't know that, etc. The message really upset me and I called my mom to discuss it with her and she just freaked out on me. She told me how yes, he was around for a year and a half but then was arrested and wanted her to bring me to jail to visit him and all of that but she wasn't going to do that. She told me google him to see all of the things he's done and all of that. I got kind of mad telling her how she has never told me the full story, just bits and pieces and how I am starting to kind of resent her for it. She then tells me that he reached out to her when I was in 8th grade and asked to talk to me and she wouldn't let him. I know he's a bad guy and I shouldn't be bothered by all of this but I am. It's just weird thinking that I have 3 other siblings out there and grandparents and aunts and uncles that I have never met. My mom and I have never had the best relationship (she was very emotionally and psychically abusive growing up) and has always just been about money and status and having everyone know that we have money, etc. and I have always hated it. Our relationship has gotten a little better now that I am older and not living at home but it's still not the relationship I would like. Him messaging me has just made me feel very resentful towards her as I feel like I was held back from knowing a whole family that I've never met.  So pretty much the conversation with her ended with her saying he's white trash and that isn't how I grew up and I should be thankful for everything. I'm sorry this is so long but I guess I'm just seeing what other's think. I haven't messaged him back at all and I don't know if I want to but I just can't help but feel sad about everything when I think about it and I'm not too sure what I should do. [/quote]

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