Reply to grandparent visits- when is it too much

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[quote=Anonymous]When I was a child, my mother's parents would visit us 1 or 2X per month on a Saturday or Sunday, stay the afternoon, take us out to dinner or shopping, and then go home, 30 mins away. My siblings and I had great relationships with them and look back on the memories fondly. They seemed to give our parents space and let my mom do her job. My parents welcomed their short visits. Today, decades later, my parents, who live about 4 hours away by car, want to see my DC for 5-7 day visits at the rate of 1x per month. They have a lot of money saved up and are retired, so the funds are there to park themselves at a nearby hotel for however long they choose. And yes, I get it's not 30 mins away, so sure, they want to justify the trip. After about a year of this, though, DH and I are getting a bit tired of having them hanging out in our place for so long, especially since they already get a lot of photos and verbal updates about DC. DH's parents live further away and work still so they can't exactly visit so much, nor do I think they even want to. I think back to my childhood and how one Sunday was enough for my grandparents, who also still worked when I was a baby and did quite a bit of traveling as well to keep themselves busy.

I don't know why my parents can't space it out a little more/cut back the days. I'm a SAH mom and DC is a pretty manageable baby. I've tried to delicately tell them it's getting to be too much, but my mother just pulls the "I want to have a relationship with my grandchild" stuff. I know it's a sensitive topic and they only have one grandchild. And yes, their visits are helpful for about a day or two when I can get a few errands done faster without a baby in tow, but I'm also fine with taking DC around if I have to and it's not like everything shuts down after 5 when DH gets home. My mother gets a little manipulative at times, saying that I need a break from the baby and she's happy to watch him all day. Very nice, but by day 5 I wish she'd just go home already.

Anyone else deal with this? I feel like they've turned DC into their raison d'etre. I thought they'd do more with themselves upon retirement. [/quote]

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