Reply to Vent about in-laws

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Vent about in-laws"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]This is mostly a vent but I'd also like some advice how to discuss this with DH.  We are having a religious ceremony (similar to a baptism) for our DC followed by a luncheon.  I gave my MIL the date 2 months ago at which point she thanked me for letting her know because FIL was planning to go to a conference out of town the day after the event but he hadn't booked his flight yet so she would make sure he made it for later in the day.  FWIW, the place he is going is a major city to which there are MANY flights a day (as in every hour all day long).

The RSVP by date is coming up and I found out today (because MIL told DH) that FIL is not going to be coming to the event because of his out of town conference.  I'm furious that he isn't coming to this.  There is no reason why he couldn't take a later flight.

Part of the reason I'm so angry though is because this is really just one instance of many that demonstrate a total lack of interest in our children by MIL and FIL.  SIL also has a child and they visit her all the time (although she lives out of town and we do not) and send her gifts so frequently that SIL had to ask them to stop sending gifts because they had too many things.  It took MIL and FIL over 2 months to come to see us after our youngest DC was born despite multiple attempts on our part to invite them because they were always too busy with their social life.  For any occasions (birthdays and Christmas) MIL always says she doesn't know what to get them but when I make suggestions she never gets them those things.  She always gets just books or clothes.  I don't care about the actual items, it just seems to me that she has no interest in what the children are interested in.  My SIL (a different one who does not have children) always finds wonderful things to get the children because she takes the time to know them and what they like.  When MIL comes over she hardly even looks at the children.  At the same time though she acts like we are so busy that we don't have time to see them so THAT'S why she doesn't know the children as well as she'd like.  She likes to turn things around and blame me.  When she told DH that FIL wasn't coming to the upcoming event she said the reason was because they didn't know about the event soon enough.  As if 2 months wasn't enough notice.

Anyway, I know I should just let this go.  Honestly, they are the ones missing out on the relationship with our children.  My parents are very involved and give them lots of love and attention so they aren't lacking in love from family/grandparents.  It just bothers me because I don't understand their thinking.  They are so different with their other grandchild.

I'd like to mention how I'm feeling to DH but I want to bring it up in a way that doesn't make him defensive about his parents.  I'm just not sure how to do it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics