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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a great relationship with my parents, and of the early years, what I remember was feeling safe, secure and loved. Just "knowing" that they were always there when I needed them. All the little things that are BIG things when you're small -- my mom always coming to school to pick me up when I got sick and never making me feel like it was inconvenient, or running to my room at night after a nightmare to comfort me, same thing -- now I know she was probably exhausted the next day!

Mom and Dad both often said I love you, hugged us a lot  and gave compliments about things we learned to do, etc., I think all these actions helped build that feeling of love and security. [/quote]

This. I also have great memories of my parents just plain enjoying being with me and having fun with us kids. There was lots of laughing and rough housing and joking around. My parents were young (early 20s) and one of my favorite memories is of a giant tickle fight that started when Dad came after me (I must have been 4 or 5), then my toddler sister, then my mom. We all ended up on their bed while dad and us kids tickled mom, everyone belly-laughing and looking ridiculous.

They always listened to us and got down on our level, there was plenty of "because I'm the parent and I said so" but there was also lots of "This is why I'm asking you to do X" too. They didn't treat us the same or as extensions of themselves either, they allowed us to be US and they thought we were awesome little people who deserved respect. They expected respect in return (and boy were we polite kids), but it was not a one way street.

We also did a lot as a family. We lived far away from immediate family and we didn't have a lot of money, so if something needed to be done, we tagged along. That said, both my parents made sure we saw them doing things THEY loved. We were the most important thing to them, but not the ONLY important thing. It wasn't all kid-focused. I have memories of my mom sewing and working on grad school papers, my dad in the garage making furniture, my parents taking classes together, hosting costume parties, taking trips without us, etc. If we were interested, sometimes they'd pause and teach us what they were doing, but we were also expected to entertain ourselves if they were busy. We fit into their life and they saw life as an adventure. Kids were just a part of that.

Most of the pictures of when I was little are of me in some ridiculous, obviously kid-chosen, outfit or doing something weird and one or both parents laughing at/with me. I never felt like I was an inconvenience to my parents, even when I was in trouble, I knew they loved me. Thinking about young childhood, the overwhelming feeling is that they just [i]enjoyed [/i]me. That just being with me made them happy. That's a pretty awesome feeling :)

My parents and my siblings are my best friends. We don't always get along, but the love and welcome and acceptance is still there. Even when one of us does something spectacularly stupid and needs help, my parents are the ones that say "Yep, that was really dumb. Do you need a hand?" No 'I told you so', no shaming, just 'bet you won't do THAT again, let's move on'. I really, really hope I'm able to give my kids that same secure, joyful childhood that I had. [/quote]

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