Reply to What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?

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Reply to "What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, first, I think 3 hours is a pretty good amount of time for a college visit.

Secondly, if she's not feeling it, let her be. She'll be the one living at the school for 4 years. Going away to college is hard enough when it's a school you're gung-ho about. Now imagine being at a school that you weren't 'feeling', didn't even want to apply to but Mom made you go under the threat of not paying.

Thirdly, please please PLEASE parents stop with the "I'm paying so I get to dictate where my child goes." It's HER experience--not yours.

Let her be.

And please parents stop trying to live vicariously through your children. You had your turn. Let your children live out theirs.[/quote]

Thank you all for the good advice.  I may have thought "I am paying for it", but it would never occur to me to say that to DC as a threat, or otherwise.  Aside from my feelings on the matter (and you are right to caution me not to live through my child), I do not want DC to carry around any regrets later on.  She has demonstrated often that she can be quite competitive herself, and I suspect that she may have second thoughts -- or worse, regrets -- when the classmates/colleagues she worked so hard with for four years start to get their admission letters from said schools.  I suppose that I should allow the college counselors and teachers, who have strong feelings about DC's potential, to work her through this particular decision.  [/quote]

It's been my experience that no one regrets where they attended undergrad! The experience is so full and you grow so much, meet so many lifelong friends that no one ever looks back and says, "You know I really wish I would've gone ivy". I've just never seen it happen.

I did not go ivy undergrad. In fact, I went to THEE 'worst' school ever. It had open enrollment and every person who applied was accepted. (No exaggeration.) I LOVED the experience and look back on it fondly. Approx. 5 years after graduation I was talking to some who went ivy undergrad and they raved about their college experiences as well. It was then that I realized it doesn't matter where you go, every young person loves their undergrad experience. (If it's the traditional on-campus situation. The kid who has to work to pay his way through school while raising kids will feel differently.)

And I doubt DC will care about her peers getting acceptances to schools she didn't even apply to! [/quote]

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