Reply to Has anyone gotten their spouse to relax a little about spending?

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Has anyone gotten their spouse to relax a little about spending?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First let me say that I am a saver and a big believer of living within/below your means.

That being said, my DH is reluctant to spend money on anything that isn't broken beyond repair.

Here are the basic facts:

HHI is roughly 250k, depending on bonus amounts
No car payments (paid cash)
Just bought a $660k house with 30% down that we plan to stay in a long time
Kids in public schools
401ks/IRAs maxed out every year
College funds on track
6-9 month "emergency fund"
Pay off credit card every month
No house leaner or lawn service
Also rent out our old townhouse that clears a few hundred a month (plus we are paying down principal)

I think we are doing great!! I am really proud of us. But when I say to DH "lets do an update to the powder room" (counter, faucet, light fixture) or lets buy a new family room couch, etc. he gets REALLY stressed out, and acts like I'm out of touch and don't understand the value of money or what we can afford. I know we can pay cash for these items without affecting any of the above.

Can anyone help us find a common ground? He is a great DH, I love him to pieces, but we are both unhappy in this current area. Neither of us is getting what we want.

TIA

[/quote]

OP,

I wish I had an answer for you.  It probably stems from your husband's childhood.  My husband sounds similar to yours, and his entire extended family is really good at saving money and never see the need to buy anything unless absolutely necessary.  His dad's side grew up on the poor side, so they learned how to manage what they earned.  (Interestingly, my family's attitude would have been to go out and get a higher earning income; however, my family is first generation immigrants, so maybe that's just one of the several differences between our families.)

Our HHI is about $300K
No car payments (own both, one extremely old Japanese sedan, the other slightly used highly reliable SUV but purchased w/ cash)
Have more than 6 months of cash savings
House will be fully paid off by the time 1st child goes to college.  Plan is to spend our high mortgage payment on kids' tuition as house will be fully paid off.
Max out retirement (but w/ matching etc. we save more than $50K in tax deferred accounts).  Reached 7 figures last fall.

Despite all of this, DH always takes an extremely conservative view.  Our biggest expenses after the mortgage right now are child care (nanny for two kids).  We do have twice a month cleaning service which costs about $220/month, but I finally put my foot down after spending all weekend trying to clean the bathrooms and recover from birth of first child (c-section).

DH however insists on doing all the yard work and fixing appliances etc.  Example, upstairs heater was intermittently shutting off (he said it was a loose wire).  Thankfully, it's now spring, but he finally took it apart and put it back together.

He refuses to update our 13 year old kitchen.  Granted until we finish up with our huge child care costs, it's probably not the best time to upgrade; however, that's his default mode.

I know everyone is advising you to have a separate savings account.  [DH can't really say too much about the smaller purchases that I make.  I have a job (actually out earn his salary), but part of the reason I do is so that I can pay for things w/o having to get "permission."]  I just know that home improvements cost way more than a few hundred or thousand so it's not like something you can just take on yourself.

I'll be interested to see what others advise other than just saying your DH is a "cheapskate."
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics