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[quote=Anonymous]With family, I try not to let other people's hang ups change my behavior. So, you say these people are controlling and judgy but you still want a relationship with them. In that situation, I would continue to extend invitations to them that other relatives are invited to - if you do a family picnic in the park, a birthday party, etc, and other family are invited, then invite the BIL & his family too. If they can't come because your party/picnic doesn't accommodate their tastes, no biggie - that's their thing, not yours. If you're sending out a cute photo of your kids to your husband's family, include them in the distribution list.

All you can do is not let their beef become yours and treat them like normal people, even if they choose to behave otherwise. Two of my three siblings have a flair for dramatics and I find the best way to curb the behavior is to ignore it and just carry on as normal. When they're ready to engage, they will. When they need space, they keep their distance. I keep the door open - it's their call when they're ready to take a step and I don't take it personally either way, because really it's not about me. [/quote]

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