Reply to Three kids under 4 and I think we are headed for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I can't get along and haven't been able to for a long time.  He gets mad at me after the fact for all kinds of things I feel we have discussed and agreed up.  And he makes  me feel guilty whenever I want a break for a few hours and tells me how hard he has it taking care of the kids.  We can barely talk to one another nicely -- everything is with an tone of accusation or disgust for the other person.

I'm at the point that I think I need to start talking to a divorce lawyer for advice.  I've been to counseling but he refuses.  I've asked many times and all he says is therapists are useless and no one will convince him he's in the wrong.  I've tried to talk about how we can change the tone of how we speak to one another and I know I'm partially to blame.  And when I try to change my behavior in tone etc. I feel like I can for a bit but then I lose it after the umpteenth time of him jumping down my throat about something.

Here's an example from this week:  The two youngest were sick and he had to stay home with them because I had a big presentation at work.  It was the day it rained so it took us an hour to get to work and an hour to get home in the pouring rain.  I was sick and the presentation did not go well.  I felt awful when I got home.  As I was walking our four year old from the garage in the pouring down rain our umbrella got stuck in the door so I pulled on it a bit to get it through.  He started yelling at me to not break the umbrella and turn it sideways.  I tried to ignore him and got a "you're so careless" speech.  Welcome home![/quote]

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