Reply to Just told my children very bad news . . . will they be ok

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[quote=Anonymous]You can't make it easier for them OP but that doesn't mean they won't be okay. As hard as it is to see your kids so upset, they need to be able to feel what they feel and be able to talk to you about it. It is going to be hard for everyone.

Your 13 yr old may feel like they have to be really strong or they have to support others. In some ways they do need to be allowed more responsibility so that they feel like they are doing something (it gives him a bit of control) but not so much responsibility that it burdens them.

Having your kids see a counselor or therapist is a good idea as they (especially the 13 yr old) might talk about how they feel to a therapist more than to you or your wife, given they know how stressed you already are. Having someone 'neutral' to talk things through with can be a great coping strategy.

You still have fight in you and you don't know how it will turn out no matter what the prognosis. However you may want to make videos for your kids while you are still strong/well that you can leave for them. Things like your life story, memories you have of your time together, videos of conversation you want to have with them in the future (when they graduate, have a boyfriend/girlfriend etc). You hopefully will beat this and not need to leave the videos but making them while you are strong just in case can be helpful.

Another thing my family member did was to record himself reading stories (books) for each of his kids. That way his younger kids still had dad reading them a story at bedtime. (This was good even when dad was in the hospital). For the older kids he read and recorded some of his favorite novels.

Keep some structure but make allowances. Like others said, do special things - take them out of school for a daddy and me day that is just about fun.

All the best.[/quote]

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