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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She loves both and is generally a good person, but its clear to me that she favors our son.  DS is 8 and DD is 5.

Examples (this week):
1. DS is in a bad mood and called DD "fat face".  When DD gets whiny about it MIL tells DD not to escalate the situation.
2. DD likes to sing to music we play in the car.  DS gets really annoyed about it.  He usually tells her to stop (not nicely).  [b]MIL will tell DD she isn't being "good" because she was asked to stop and isn't.  [/b]3. DD tells/tattles on DS.  No matter what the reason MIL will tell DD to stop "telling stories".

This morning I told MIL that she is 5, this is normal, and we need to teach the difference between telling and tattling.  That at telling a 5 yr old to "stop b/c its not nice" is confusing.  They are learning that rules are important and that sometimes you need to "tell".   Of course MIL is now annoyed at me and thinks I favor DD.

I don't want a confrontation as she is generally well intentioned but I wish she would stop criticizing only DD so much.  If she wants she can criticize both--since both are at fault, or none.

What have you done in this situation. TIA[/quote]

Smoothie pp here. I would again, cut her off or after I heard her say that dd wasn't good, I would say, " Larla, of course you are a good girl. Do you think you want to make a decision to sing later as to not bug your brother, or maybe ask him if wants to sing a different song with you or play a game? Can you two please work it out together?  Then look at your mil, Lucy and say "yum, bean dip want some?" That should keep her quiet for a bit.

Of course you want her to tell you things. Yes, you have to work with a 5 yo on the difference between tattling and telling items of importance. We all do. I'm in it now as well. Just don't try to explain things to the mil. They don't get it, never will and will not listen. Just do your thing. Smile and pass the bean dip. :) [/quote]

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