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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I don't think you have a problem. They might only come for an hour or two - this is not a problem. This is probably ideal. Not too different than other friendships/relationships.

[b]Know too that the brothers may have some issues - unspoken jealously, resentment - something. Maybe a reason they aren't super close. It's probably why they chose such different wives[/b].
[/quote]

This is a really good point and I see it with my own two brothers. I try to stay out of it. You can still try to have a relationship between the two families, but nothing you can do about years and years of issues between brothers.

Per your other comments about SIL being a planner and you being more spontaneous...just because you two have different styles, doesn't mean you always have to accommodate theirs. Say yes to their weeks-in-advance planning when you want to, but also feel free to extend spontaneous invites as well, as long as you don't get upset if they turn you down.[/quote]

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