Reply to Will DW's libido ever return post-infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Wanna do it?" and tepidly pawing at her are not good initiations. She's going to shoot you down. When she does shoot you down, shrug it off and don't whine. Go do something else that's fun and try again tomorrow or whenever you're in the mood.

Good luck! [/quote]

Yes x 100![/quote]
Thank you. Men seriously need to put in a little effort. Sometimes I'm psyching myself up for sex and then he does something crass, which might be mildly humorous, but when my drive is so fragile it just kills it entirely. How can I get myself in the psychological place I need to be to be turned on when I'm trying to ignore stupid jokes? Not sexy.[/quote]

I'm the PP who recommended against tepid pawing. I stand by that and, as an undersexed husband, I'm mostly focused on things I can do and - by extension - things that other undersexed husbands can do. That said . . .

A wife has some obligations here as well. It's a 50/50 relationship, so the woman ought to take up 50% of the work of getting the couple into the mood for good sex. I understand "ought to" sometimes only has a marginal relationship to reality, so if my wife is doing, say, 20% of the heavy lifting when it comes to sex, I'm reasonably happy with the situation.

Basically, if I flirt with her and she flirts back, I'm going to be happy with her effort.

Maybe related, maybe an aside - but very little drives me crazier than when, two days after the fact, she'll let me know "I was in the mood but you didn't make a move." I'm not a damn mind reader, woman! [/quote]

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