Reply to Will DW's libido ever return post-infant years?

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Reply to "Will DW's libido ever return post-infant years?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Maybe it will come back, maybe it won't. I'd say that, with a 3 year old, it's still early days. But, it's probably the beginning of the rebuilding period. My view is that, during the pregnancy and infant years, sex is almost certainly going to suffer. The relationship probably will too. The best you can hope for is "do no harm," and even that might be ambitious.

Now is when you can start shoring up the husband-wife relationship, I think. Let her know in as non-pressurized way as you can that sex is important to a marriage and it should be somewhere on the priority list. Don't talk about it very often - just enough to make sure you're on the same page that sex is important in an abstract sense.

That's about as far as you can go with a rational, discursive approach. You're not going to reason her into being horny. And I presume you're after mutually enjoyable sex, not just duty sex where you're essentially masturbating with her body.

Try to be sexy again. If you're out of shape, start getting back in shape. Try to be higher energy and confident around her. (It's so easy to power down after you get home from work - very understandable, but not sexy.) Initiate in a nonverbal and unambiguous way. "Wanna do it?" and tepidly pawing at her are not good initiations. She's going to shoot you down. When she does shoot you down, shrug it off and don't whine. Go do something else that's fun and try again tomorrow or whenever you're in the mood.

Good luck! [/quote]

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