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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really went through this for a few years and then I just didn't have the energy for it anymore. I think its completely normal to feel this way. Today, one would expect me to hate my ex after everything that happened, but I honestly love him again. Even when he's not being kind in return. I am thankful for the good things that came from that relationship, (our child, life lessons i needed to learn, experiencing love). I forgive him and I love my life again. He moved on to another relationship soon after the breakup, which made me wonder for the a long time if he ever really cared.

I think this is a perfect time to figure out what you could have done better. For me, it was to value myself. To trust my gut. That guilt isn't a good enough reason to stay with someone. To speak up when my feelings were hurt and be vulnerable. That being vulnerable is showing strength, not a weakness. To forgive and/or move on faster. That I am strong enough to handle another relationship/marriage and still give it my all.

I believe my ex was one of the best things that ever happened to me and the next man will benefit from what I learned. I truly believe that, which is why I love the guy. And trust me, this is a guy who likes to portray me as the crazy ex. I used to be concerned about him trashing my reputation with his family, friends and SO, but I realized that its just insecurity on his part. Without him, I would still care way too much about what other people thought of me. I had to hit rock bottom to get to the point where I just didn't care anymore, but its so freeing.

I wish you the best, OP, and hope that you will open yourself to love again when you're ready.[/quote]

Thank you PP. From one "crazy ex" to another, your post is very touching. I did love my ex and, like yours, he moved on quickly (within one week of separation no joke) then bad mouthed me to everyone from family to former employers. I've kept my distance emotionally but I'm not yet in the place where I can feel love for someone that hurt me so badly.[/quote]

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