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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have had only marginal issues - nothing substantial.  My mother has required a fair amount, but we've gotten her into an assisted living environment - a very good one - so that burden isn't so terrible for any of us.  My ex wife and her brother had many arguments over their parents during the long period of decline.  Here's my take on much of this "checked out" stuff: [b]The siblings disagree fundamentally about how the care should be handled.[/b]

For every "checked out" sibling, there is another who is going overboard, being a busybody, and making a personal martyrdom out of filial duty.  And they get resentful and pissed when nobody else will join them in the hair shirt.  I have no problem with anyone deciding to go on a mission, but you do it on your own time and energy.

In keeping with that, my advice for the OP for getting over it is this: worry about your own relationship with your parents.  Don't worry about your sibling's.  Your sibling and your parent(s) are adults, and their relationship - whatever disappointment or source of unhappiness it is for either of them - is their business, their "problem" to fix,  not yours.  The power to "fix" it is only in their hands and hearts, not yours.  Worry about your own life and relationships, not other people's.  This applies to far more than just parental care.  [/quote]

While it's possible that the other sibling really just doesn't care or isn't willing to put in any effort, it's also possible that one sibling is being a martyr/going overboard and expecting everyone to join them, or wants to do something that the other siblings don't agree with.  [/quote]

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