Reply to Are my DD's bf's parents racist? What should I do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She's 16. The odds are in your favor that this relationship  won't last or turn into marriage. Review proper birth control methods, and don't interact with the parents again.

Make sure she feels she can talk to you about upsetting things she may hear his parents say when she's at his house, without feeling like youll use them to pressure her to break up, or get into a whole big speech about the parents. [/quote]

I would also tell her that in a long term relationship, his parents' attitudes will matter a lot and that is something she needs to think about going forward with this guy or with any other guy that she dates. Talk about how a MIL and FIL can make their DIL miserable.

They could grow up and learn something, though. They sound like they are trying.  My grandma had a 4th grade education and was raised to be deeply racist. She grew up in rural Arkansas.  Her husband (my grandpa) was in the Klan during the Civil Rights movement.  She felt free to be casually racist right up to the point that my cousin got pregnant by a black guy. When the baby was born, Grandma had a change of heart. She was deeply devoted to family and "MINE" overwhelmed any other issue. She told off every single redneck member of our family. If they had something to say about that baby or the baby's mother, they weren't welcome at Grandma's house anymore.  She told all her daughters and sisters and daughters-in-law to settle their husbands down, too.

People change, even old ladies born in 1922 in rural Arkansas. I'm not recommending that you or your daughter stick around to be a one woman change movement, but the world has changed and will keep changing. History is on the side of the righteous on this issue.  Maybe that kid's parents will change, too, at least a little. They sound like they are trying, but are deeply uncomfortable. Change is HARD.

Tell your daughter to be kind and know that she's perfect just the way she is. If they can't see it, well, that's their problem. [/quote]

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