Reply to Setting firm boundaries with someone who's abusive

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I do not know the dynamics of your relationship, whether or not you are married, have mutual children together and/or are financially dependent on this person, but from what you are saying, I commend you for your [b]honesty.[/b]

It isn't easy admitting you know you need to get out of something, yet you cannot find the strength and willpower to stick to what you know you have to do.

I have been in your shoes [i]many[/i] times and I know that feeling. I have done the same thing so many times. Threatened to leave. Issued ultimatums. Over + over again. Threatened to do this, that, that and all that. And then when he started becoming nice to me to sucker me in, I would soften up and my words held no weight at all and he [u]knew[/u] it.

It was a vicious cycle.  :(

For me what changes is I usually have to hit some type of "rock bottom." 
Meaning something has to happen where a  :idea:  goes off in my head where I realize that this person is so toxic in my life that he is destroying every aspect of it.
That I am practically forsaking everything I HAVE for him. That he is destroying my spirit day by day and the more I give him, the more I lose. One day I will have nothing left, and as you know, when you have nothing left, you no longer have anything to lose, right?

Even though he is not physically harming your self OP, by destroying objects that is abuse in itself, please acknowledge that. Also, in these cases, physical abuse can come later. I wouldn't risk it.

I had an ex who started off damaging my personal items, then later on he started damaging me physically.

I hope you have a strong support system in place who will back you up because this is something that will not be easy to do alone.

Good luck.[/quote]

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