Reply to Setting firm boundaries with someone who's abusive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where is the anger from? Is it a symptom of mental illness? Poor coping skills? Family anger? Childhood abuse?

He needs to not just deal with it behaviorally but to understand it or it will just keep coming back. Anger is like pain - just a symptom of the bigger problem. You need to find and treat the source.[/quote]
This. What do you know of his early childhood?
Was he neglected in any way?
Whatever it was, it's NO excuse to be abusive.[/quote]

His childhood was not easy. When I spoke to his sister about this, she said it was a huge problem when he was a teen/young adult. She said their mother was afraid of him. It's not an excuse to be abusive, though he offers excuses along with apologies after one of these blow ups. He needs to find a better way to communicate.

My plan is to just walk out and go to a friend's house or a hotel when/if it happens again. I hope 24-48 hours out of the house will be enough to make it clear.

Thanks for the advice.[/quote]

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