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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Worrying about cheating?  After reading all these posts about women leaving their husbands and the ex being heartbroken, I'm more concerned about my wife telling me she's going.  I try to be the best husband and father possible, but it's like an epidemic![/quote]

This is so true.  Most of the situations I know the wife is leaving the husband and the husband feels blindsided.  In the situations where I know the wife well enough to hear her side, there were issues for years but husband would never agree to therapy etc.

I cannot say that my DH will never cheat.  I think there could be situations in life that if they occurred we could struggle like death of a parent, facing our own mortality, death of a child, extended periods of unemployment etc.  Based on how DH treats other people and different comments he has made, I believe he is basically an honest person.  However, we haven't faced a major issue and had to come out in the other side of it so I can't predict my reaction, his reaction or how we deal with any possible disappointment if someone doesn't react how you hoped they would in that situation.

Ultimately, I agree with the statement about tormenting yourself if you don't trust versus possible disappointment if you trust too much.  You can also drive someone away if you distrust them with no basis for the distrust.  Focus on the reasons you feel uneasy, that you aren't connecting and spending time together.  One of the top reasons couples break up according to an article I read, is because the person does not feel appreciated by his/her significant other.  I imagine you are not feeling appreciated if your alone time  with DH is being taken up with him being on the phone and always staying up late on his computer instead of coming to bed with you.  You don't know if DH is feeling unappreciated and being on the phone/computer is in response to feeling unappreciated, if he found someone that is stroking his ego, or if he is just stressed about something else and this is how it is manifesting itself.  The conversation should start with how you are feeling about things in general with two young kids and address your feelings as well as his.[/quote]

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