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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She may or may not go to a therapist, but you can control whether you go to a therapist to help you learn your own coping strategies and means of setting boundaries.

For the health of your new marriage, do it.

--Someone who is in therapy in large part to deal with a relative's untreated mental illness[/quote]

OP here.  You are so right.  I've always known I've needed to go to therapy to learn how to find some coping strategies and also to deal with some of the issues I have related to how she's acted to me, but I've been guilt tripped and made to feel like a terrible daughter so many times that I have avoided going to therapy because I feel bad blaming my mom for issues I have.

But you're right.  I do need to do it for the health of my marriage. [/quote]Yes, OP, if you haven't yourself been in therapy, you need to start there. You have the power in your hands to make your life so much better just by working with a professional to help you figure out how to cope. Give up on trying to get your mom into therapy. Start with yourself. I say this as the daughter of a very anxious mother who would never listen to my suggestions about how to get better. It was hard but I had to learn to accept that I couldn't make her get better and continuing to try was preventing me from getting better myself. Once I learned to accept that my relationship with my mom got better - because I had stopped letting her control me. Good luck![/quote]

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