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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks to the last two pps.

Through the years I've def. trained myself to keep my emotions in check.  We get in an argument a couple of times a year still.  Usually it happens when I've just reached the end of my rope or when I'm calmly trying to tell her that whatever she is saying hurts my feelings and she starts in on how I think she's a horrible mother, etc and I lose it.  But for the most part I just yes and ok her to death and try to appease her.

I have started to tell her something along the lines of "mom I'm not going to discuss this with you right now because I don't feel like it is going to be a productive conversation because of how you're talking to me.  I can feel myself getting annoyed so lets revisit this when we're both calmer".   Half the time this works, half the time she gets meaner towards me.

PP, thank you very much for your experience. My mom is an amazing grandmother (my nephew is 18 months) and for the life of me I cannot figure out where the disconnect is between how she treats me and how she acts towards my nephew.  My brother escapes most of her anxiety/issues for whatever reason.  90% of the time, I'm the target.  I fear that I'm going to eventually have to give her an ultimatum, but I need to get myself into therapy before I can do that. [/quote]

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