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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Does SES affect close friendships? Emphasis on "close""
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I attended a university that had a lot of rich kids, and some of them became my close friends. I'm not going to lie, it did cause some anxiety - at least in my mind, probably not in theirs. I couldn't keep up with them and was often just staring when we went to a nightclub and they ordered bottle service for the whole table, or they drove around town in BMWs and only ate at 5-star restaurants. It made me uncomfortable because I couldn't participate in this part of their lives, so we socialized in the context of eating on campus/cooking together or doing low-key activities like bowling. It definitely made me feel more uncertain and insecure, since I'd never been exposed to a crowd like that before college - and before college I'd been very happy with my SES and thought I had enough. I had wanted to do a PhD and become a professor. Halfway through college I decided I wanted to go to law school and achieve the SES of my college friends. And here I am now, an attorney, and still friends with my college buddies. I wouldn't say that the wealth gap damaged my friendships, but it did create a weird power imbalance for a while, even if unintentionally. When someone else is always hosting you, or insisting that they be allowed to treat you because they want you to come out with them, or if you see their parents paying for their tuition while you work 3 jobs, and when your friends don't realize the value of quarters and don't care if they scatter coins by accident when they open/close their wallet (I had to resist the urge to pick up scattered coins off the ground because I was thinking "LAUNDRY MONEY! FOOD!") - it's hard not to feel a little resentful and insecure, even though we should all be above that. Happy to say I've grown beyond that now.[/quote] Did you go to georgetown? I think cities schools emphasize this more. I went to college in the middle of nowhere and there was nothing to spend money on. We were required to both live on campus and participate in the full meal plan all four years, and thre were no fancy restaurants anyway.[/quote] Penn is a bit like this too -- though not as bad. I do agree, it happens more in city schools where there is something to spend on as opposed to rural/isolated places.[/quote]
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