Reply to Dating for 7 Months....No Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]What gives? Is this the norm these days?

I'm dating a great guy, he's 34 I'm 31.  Overall, I'm very happy with him, we have lots of common interests, have a connection thats growing each day spent, and a strong mutual attraction.  We met in July on an online dating site, went really slow, as we both came from long-term relationships.  His lasting ten years, mine five. The whole summer were spent nearly every day together.  He introduced me to a lot of new things, I never thought I'd fall again.  After about three months of dating, he drops the bomb that he's moving to LA to focus on a career as a consultant.  While I didn't think the 200 mile distance was a big deal, I wasn't sure if he even still wanted to continue dating, but he did and we are still going strong despite some speed bumps along the way.  The bulk of it has a lot to do with his job. He works ALL the time, with an erratic schedule, never knows what's ahead, which is frustrating because we can barely plan to do something together the week ahead.  Whenever we do hang out, he will usually ask me last minute.  I know its the nature of his job, but I feel like an after thought sometimes.  I drive to see him the majority of the time (in case, he's called off to work), and will spend the entire weekend with him.  We usually see one another every three weeks, which isn't enough.  I'm pretty independent, though so I have no trouble filling up my time.  But lately, I feel like whenever I see him, I have to reaquaint myself, like you would do on a first date, but I find it is only minor because those weekends usually turn out wonderful and sweet. We communicate almost daily, but when he's in the midst of a trial, trying to connect is very challenging, and only if I initiate.  Sometimes he seems distracted.  When he does have his breaks in between, I find him solely focused on me, and I see he tries his best to reconnect whether its by reading the same book, or watching the same movie over the phone.  I try to be patient, but its hard especially since my friends don't seem to understand his work and have it in their heads that he has ulterior motives but I liken it to him being ambitious, independent, and not clingy (which attracted me most to him).  I've turned down other potential men in order to focus on him,  but now I'm not even sure if I'm just blind, wasting my time with a busy man.

Albeit the fact that he was in a ten year relationship not too long, could there be another reason why he's so hesitant on making it exclusive?  It didn't sound like it was a happy relationship.  He isn't dating anyone else, we both terminated our dating profiles, I have a few of my things at his place and even a spare key.  We act like we are in a relationship.  He acts very loving, protective, and empathetic.  I just don't want to waste my time and already I'm starting to really care about this guy.  [/quote]

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