Reply to How can some people never get caught cheating?

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Reply to "How can some people never get caught cheating?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that in many cases, the spouse knows deep down that the person is cheating but is willfully ignorant because they don't want to deal with the implications.

I've never cheated, but I have been cheated on.  And when I called out the person, I was made to believe I was paranoid.  Well, we broke up, and then it came out that I was right.

That guy is now married with a child, and I'm certain he still cheats (it's part of his personality).  In my opinion, he shouldn't be in monogamous relationships, but he wants both things -- a family/home life and the freedom to hook up with other women.

My guess is that his wife knows this.  It's really obvious.  But he's suave, very well-connected, et cetera.  So my guess is that she accepts the cheating because she wants the other things that come with a life with him.

For me, the trade off wasn't worth it.  It was clear that he was unwilling to change and that any suggestion that he was doing anything wrong would only be blamed on me.  I moved on.

But I've seen a lot of relationships like that one.  I met another man who hit on me and was married.  I got the very real impression that I wasn't the first or only woman he tried to have an affair with.  And I can't imagine his wife didn't realize that.  But again, he made a very good salary, lived a high-end lifestyle, was smooth.  So I figure his wife has made the trade off.

Different things are important to different people.  I think in many cases people know and just pretend otherwise or they purposefully put on blinders so as not to know because they decide other things about the person are worth the infidelity.

For that reason, I stay out of such things.  If I suspect someone I know is cheating on someone else I know, I just stay out of it.  Unless you have hard proof, like a video, people will refuse to believe you and actually just turn on you for putting a wrinkle in the narrative they tell themselves.[/quote]

+1 to everything you said on this. Especially the fact that (A.) people willingly put on blinders in order to avoid dealing with it and (B.) they will turn on you for putting a wrinkle in the narrative they tell themselves. So so so so TRUE.[/quote]

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