Reply to S/O--if your parents lives in your in-law suite, how does it work?

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Reply to "S/O--if your parents lives in your in-law suite, how does it work?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think you need to include him on everything you do, just things that are happening at the house.  So if you want to go for a walk as a family and you are all getting your shoes on right in front of him, I might say, "We're going for a walk for about 30 minutes.  You're welcome to join us if you wish."  But if he is in his room watching tv, I would just call up, "We'll be out for about half and hour !"

If you are running errands, I would phrase it as. " Do you need anything from X, Y, or Z?"  I don't think that requires an invite.  If he can't drive, though you need to plan on you or DH taking him on any errands FIL has once a week or so.

As for family meals, assuming he is capable of fixing himself leftovers or something, them I would say that if you are sitting down together for a meal, you should make extra and invite him, but if it's one of those nights when you feed the kid, DH grabs something from the drive thru and you eat after you get DC to bed, then just let FIL know, "Hey, dinner is catch-as-catch-can tonight, so you're on your own.  There's leftover X if you want it."

At dinner parties, I agree that it would be rude to exclude him, but that doesn't entitle him to be rude to your guests.  So don't feel compelled to spoon-feed him attention.  If he sulks in a corner, that is his choice.  At some point it may require a conversation (outside of party mode) about the fact that he is not an honored guest, just a regular member of the family now, which means that you will be more concerned with making sure your guests feel heard and attended to, but that you love him and would be happy to listen to his views on X at a family dinner some night.[/quote]

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