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[quote=Anonymous]I find the TTC/fertility treatments process to make me insane.  I did it for DC #1, and I am going through treatments again (IVF) for #2.  I thought it would be easier, but I am in the same emotional black hole I was in last time.  I had one failure so far, and one cancelled cycle, and I just have a black cloud hanging over me.  I want to be happy and focus on DS, and when I am with him, I am happy, but in general, at work/with family/with friends, I feel like a dark cloud is hanging over me.  That I can't be happy until this works.  That I can't compartmentalize it into one part of my brain and just let what happens happen.  It's AWFUL.  I wish I could be stronger, not let it get to me so much, but I find the roller coaster unbearable.  and I find all the info you get with IVF to be both good and moreso bad- because you know that you put in an embryo or embryos, and you have all this information about it, and it makes it all the more heartbreaking when it doesn't work and all the more maddening when your friends get pregnant by looking at their husbands.  Anyways, rant over.  I just needed to vent to a bunch of strangers who may relate to how I feel.[/quote]

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