Reply to Vent: Friend was helicoptered into uselessness

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[quote=Anonymous]When I was in my late 20s I had a friend like this. She had a BS in Business Finance, yet she always took jobs that did not require a degree and then would complain that she was not being respected at work - she was an administrative assistant at one job and was offended that they did not see her as a finance person (she applied for and accepted an administrative job). That is an example of her pattern as she would get bored and such at her job and be very critical of everyone she worked with.  She was uanble to see that the common link was always "her".  Anyway, I felt like a dumping ground as whenever she would call me it would be just to complain about her job, life, etc.  At first I would try to change the subject when she would start dumping, but if she continued, I would tell her that I had another committment and have to get off the phone.  I was too passive and I needed to be more assertive. When it got to the point where I would dread seeing her name come up I realized the friendship was over. It was officially over when I told her what I thought - that many of her "issues" could be resolved if she A) took a job that required her degree or B) accepted the job that she applied for and was supposed to be doing, C) since she had moved back in with her parents (another of her complaints), she could afford to take a risk and quit her job to pursue another if she really really wanted to. She was not trapped. She hung up on me and we never spoke again.

If you still have feelings for her and your friendship, you need to talk to her before it is too late - as I waited too long and I lost a friend.  Likely, if I had spoken up before I was completely aggravated with her, I would have approached our conversation differently. [/quote]

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