Reply to WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email

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Reply to "WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email"

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[quote=Anonymous]It's been two years since discovering DH's 5-year affair with a co-worker. He broke it off with her immediately and quit his job. We moved across town. Initially, I planned to stay in the relationship only long enough to help our two young sons adjust to the divorce. But through intensive counseling, I believe he was thoroughly chastened by the experience of nearly losing everything and is a different man now. Slowly, I'm starting to regain a little strength and faith in our marriage. Trust isn't there yet, but we're working on it. In an effort at full disclosure, DH shared with me all of his email/phone passwords. While I hate myself for checking his emails, I do, albeit more infrequently now that more time has passed. I'm not sneaky about checking, and he understands my need to do so.

Recently I've started to relax a little and haven't been checking as often. Today I found an email from a month ago from her phone, saying simply "I miss you." I couldn't find a response from him, but it was marked as read. My husband denies reading it and seemed genuinely surprised when I confronted him. He claims he didn't even recognize her number when I asked him to call it from his phone. He responded in my presence via text, asking her to leave us alone. I called her phone, gave her my number and told her that she could reach me anytime she wished to explain why she's contacting my husband, whether she loves him, or just loves the thrill of dating married men with kids.

But now I'm swirling in doubt. Why did he tell me he hadn't read her email? She responded to his text saying that she didn't contact him and doesn't know what he's talking about. But we have proof that she did. He's leaving on a business trip tomorrow and will have plenty of time away from me to cover his tracks, if there are indeed tracks to be covered. Our therapist cautioned us that given the gravity of his betrayal, I may never be able to overcome my doubts and insecurities. And indeed, I am a different woman than I was before this. I have loved this man for 30 years and never saw this coming. How can I trust my judgment now when I was too blind to see the truth then? I trusted him completely. Now I think I can't trust anyone again.

WWYD?[/quote]

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