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[quote=Anonymous]Time for a big powwow.  Tell them you are officially DONE with the meanness and nastiness.  You will not tolerate them saying things to their siblings that they would never say to a friend.  Remind that that hateful comments would get them in big trouble at school so why should home be any different?  I think sometimes they act out on siblings rather than friends because it feels "safer."  They can have more power with family rather than alienating friends.  My rule is if you wouldn't say the same comment to your best friend, you may not say it to a sibling.  Would DD have listed all of her friend's faults out load to her after a breakup?  Of course not (well, if she wanted to still have the friendship!)

Emphasize that rudeness is a sign of immaturity and jealousy and reflects more on their personality than on the one they are trying to insult.

I tell my kids constantly that if they don't have something nice to say they need to keep their mouths shut.  If they can't, then the rest of us don't want to hear their nasty attitude so they have to remove him/herself to their room (and phone goes on the mantle so they don't use it to be rude to others)  ;)   So if DS makes comments about DD's arm, simply remind him that if he's feeling jealous of the attention she's getting, he needs to go to his room so he won't hear it.  [/quote]

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