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Reply to "Is it worth saying something to MIL over this?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MIL has a good heart and only good intentions, but she does not think before she speaks and often says/emails/texts things that drive me crazy. Next weekend she and FIL are babysitting our toddler DD while DH and I attend a wedding. Today she sent me a packing "Wish List" outlining all the things I need to pack for DD (no joke it was at least 25 items long and included things like pajamas and socks - obviously I will pack those!) she also referred to DD as her "living baby doll" and demanded I pack at least two pretty dresses and dress shoes (wrote "very important" next to them with about five exclamation points following). I was going to pack dresses for DD anyway bc MIL buys her so many of them and I always try to make sure she's wearing them around MIL bc I know she gets a kick out of seeing DD dressed up. So I guess what really rubbed me the wrong way is 1) I resent being given a packing list, as if I couldn't pack for DD myself and 2) my daughter being referred to as a living doll. I don't want to start a fight with my MIL[b] but these types of emails are typical of what she sends to me on an almost daily basis. DH's strategy is to ignore her and call her once or twice a week to address all her emails at once. But I have found that if I ignore her, she will either flood my inbox orcall DH to complain that I didn't respond. I got 14 text messages from her in two hours the other day. [/b] As I typed this I realized I really have two issues: whether or not to let her know how I feel about this particular email, and how to handle communications with her going forward. I think she means well but she's completely overbearing and driving me crazy.[/quote] This is your real issue. That would drive me nuts. I would talk with DH about it, and I think I would back off a bit from your ILs. Let DH handle most of the communication. Write back to such an e-mail, "DH will get back to you on that," forward him the e-mail, and then ignore follow-ups. It sounds like DH has figured out how to make her back off from him, and now she's going to you. Time to learn a thing or two from DH and get her to back off you also. As for the list, I think I'd write back something like, "Thanks, we've got it under control" and also consider that as a standard response for such ridiculousness.[/quote] Yes. This PP is right. The "living doll" and packing list are nothing, nothing--they are just rubbing you wrong because of the issue this PP has outlined above. Really--say nothing about the living doll/packing list. I'm saying that as one who was a stickler for something my FIL did years ago, and now I wish I had just let it roll off my back. The real issue is her compulsive texting/emailing. I'd reply to the first one "thanks, got it under control," like PP says, and then ignore, ignore, the 23 others. And turn off your sounds so you can ignore your texts (can you fix your phone to not receive texts from her? I don't know the answer to that one). Really, unless you are trying to meet someone somewhere, most texts are not urgent and could be done in an email so don't be a slave to your text (especially since she's got a hold of it) What I would do, pp, is NEVER reply to a text from her (or the resulting cell phone call). Just tell her something's up with your phone and you don't get all your texts. Tell her to email you instead. After a while, she'll go back to email. 23 emails is bad, but nothing like 23 texts.[/quote]
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