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[quote=Anonymous]I have this same problem, but it is mostly linked to my husband's weight gain since we started dating.   He's so much hotter to me when he weighs less and it hurts my feelings that he doesn't care at all what I think about his weight.   I typically just keep my eyes closed when we have sex and try and focus on how I feel about him as a person (I love his brain, how he is a great husband and partner, etc.).  I spent years trying all sorts of different ways to get him to lose weight: fighting with him about exercising more, encouraging him to exercise more, not saying anything at all about his weight, etc., etc.  I just try and fix healthy meals for him at home and encourage him if he starts exercising again or loses weight. I just wished he cared about his weight a little more.  He's only about 20-30 lbs overweight, but exercising and being fit just isn't a priority for him. But, I understand that external validation isn't a motivator for his behavior and have tried to make my peace with it.  I fantasize about the fit late 30's/early 40's guys I see at the gym and hope that their wives appreciate that their husbands are so fit.  Oh, I should say that I am a very fit person and weigh the same as I did when I was in my early 20's when we met despite having 3 kids.  I love exercising and feel that it makes me feel better and more alive.  He was more into fitness when we first started dating and then his career trumped exercising.[/quote]

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