Reply to When younger sister visits, she never lifts a finger. Is this common?

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[quote=Anonymous]You teach people how to treat you…

You don't say if she comes often or how long she stays.  If she is coming from far away and staying for days/weeks, then it's not reasonable for her to expect you to do all the cooking/clean up/food buying etc.  BUT she shouldn't be expected to read minds either.  "Do you want to cook dinner tonight or clean up after, I'll do whichever one you don't"  will set the tone for your expectations.  Certainly, if you are inviting her and she isn't living up to expectations that you make clear, then stop inviting her.  But give her a chance to prove herself a poor guest, don't make her guess what you want/expect.

I'm not sure what else you would expect from her though.  If she is a guest in your house, keeping her own things out from under foot, cooking/cleaning up from shared meals are all you really are owed.  Helping to clean up your house, watch your kid, shovel your drive or wash your laundry are NOT reasonable expectations, even in you are swamped and she is sipping wine and texting.  There are plenty of us who would happily volunteer to help out, but it's not within reason to ask or expect this type of help unless she is a long-term guest (months?) or a roommate.[/quote]

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