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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is something going on with you, OP, that you do not know how to pick loyal, good people (either in your DH or in your girl friends).  Things like this don't just *happen*--you picked these people.

I am not blaming you but am pointing this out to show you you have power here to change your situation and change your life.  You need to get out and pick some good people.  If your "people-picker" is broken then get some counseling and figure out how to fix it.[/quote]

Yes please lets not blame OP for the behavior of others. THere is often a pack mentality that goes on, where one person does something and the others jump on the bandwagon because they lack character. A toxic brew can develop VERY quickly, as has happened here.

As to a husband cheating wth a friend, that is a super huge betrayal and OP. No wonder you feel smothered. But look: it is not YOUR fault that other people do crappy things. THere are other people that have been in your situation. You may be extra trusting, perhaps. And never thought this was possible.

You need to break ALL ties with all of these so called friends. If there is an honest and good one among them they will reveal themselves, but right now you need to cut ties.

I am afraid that the magniture of the betrayal, all other things being equal, means the marriage may not be worth saving. But that is for you to determine down the line.

Right now I completely agree YOU NEED to talk to a counselor. THey can be VERY helpful to center you in a crisis. Focus on what to do RIGHT NOW to give yourself the strength to navigate your way through this situation.

I do NOT agree that you need to figure out, right now, if you have a defective people picker. That is not the priority right now. You need the protection of inner strength and a counselor may be able to help you find that.

Good Luck OP (((big hug)))  People start over all the time. It takes stength and if others can do it, you can too.[/quote]

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