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[quote=Anonymous]Agree with CBT, having her read self-hep books for teens, etc. In addition, there are a few things you can focus on at home as well. Make sure she develops one or more areas at which she excels. Establish a sound relationship with one adult she trusts (teacher, coach), where she feels challenged and successful. Building her sense of confidence comes from many angles, and there are unique opportunities to do so at home and through after-school activities. With 4 kids, one of which is extrovert, her time alone with her parents is likely limited. But it's worth carving out time to go out for a special treat and connect.

It took us about 1 year of work to build my daughter's confidence, and while she still falls back on old patterns, sometimes, for the most part, she has become confident and social. In our case, she developed swimming as her strength, and has an excellent relationship with the swim team she's in. While she used to show up at practice and meets with a frown on her face and white knuckles from anxiety, her coach was instrumental in leading her to success and confidence. The team adores her unconditionally, and that has had a powerful effect on her sense of self. That has carried over to school and other activties. Our 1:1 time is a dash to a coffee shop to work on math or french -- we chat, we work and come back with a renewed sense of greatness.

I'm still looking for that great CBT recommendation, and we tried several, without success, because they spent months getting to know her but not quite succeeding. I the end, work we did in her environment was what helped. [/quote]

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