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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - thank you for the responses.  At our first session, I said to DH - are you having an affair?  Is it Jane?  And he said No, but he did not reveal the lunches.  Today, when I asked him again - in a more specific way - I said - are you interested in someone else - such as Jane?  Do you have lunch with Jane?  Then he admitted he does have lunch with her and he has for a while.  I said - why didn't you ever reveal this to me?  he said, I thought you would get upset.  I said, well, I'm upset that it is a secret.  he said, It is not a secret.  I said, Well, I ask you who you went to lunch with almost every day and he always lists various men coworkers who I know too...but yet he never mentioned this woman...And it was devastating/interesting to me that he knew I would be upset even though I only asked about an affair within the last few weeks yet this lunches have been going on for a year or so.  He claims it is all innnocent and he is allowed a female friend, but I say - he was very secretive about it and he should not be discussing our marital problems with her.  Previously he admitted he discussed our issues with two men coworkers who I like and trust (nice older marreid men) and I was okay with that. I have only discussed our issues with my mother.  [/quote]

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