Reply to SIL ruining relationship with brother

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[quote=Anonymous]Look, a lot of the change would have happened no matter what when he got married.  His wife and children are going to take priority, and he'll have dramatically less free time to come over all the time, etc.  That time, rightfully, goes to girlfriend who then becomes his wife and his children.

It sounds like it has gone a little farther than what might be naturally considered to happen in that situation, but no matter what, you now have to meet him and his wife where they are.  So, yes, you do have to call first before coming over.  That's true in a lot of families. You need to accept seeing him less often and having less knowledge of his private life.  It sounds like he made things easy for you before, and now you need to make a bit more effort given his time constraints and responsibilities.

And, if you've let it be known that you hold any of this against your SIL, realize you've contributed to the problem.  Focus on your relationship with your brother, and don't complain about his wife.  See if you can figure out what works best for their schedule--if he's always saying no to one kind of time frame, ask him what might work best for him.[/quote]

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