Reply to Fired my mom as DD's caretaker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you let this go on for so long? You should have done something a YEAR AGO. You did your DD a disservice. Free childcare is not always free. There can be a really high cost to an unpaid caregiver (who is not the child's parent).[/quote]

My mom is paid.  You are right that I did my child a great disservice and I agree that the cost was too high.

We did tell her at the end of October that she needed to move on.  I didn't realize my mom lied to me so much at first.  One lie wasn't worth cutting her off, and the major revelations were months apart.  I actually thought I was going crazy in the beginning and not remembering some things correctly.  I mean, we couldn't find the cigarettes in the house at all.  [i]Maybe I miscounted the number of ounces of breastmilk I had in there.  She couldn't have given the baby 18 oz when I was gone for 5 hours and I could only pump 3.5 oz.  Why would she lie about that? [/i]  Why would she see how that destroyed my life and still continue to lie about how much milk she was giving the baby?  [i]My mom wouldn't do that.[/i] Yes.  Yes, my mom did. I knew that there were 18 oz missing and instead of calling my mom a liar, of which I had no physical proof, I accepted that probably counted wrong.  And my daughter paid the price.

I didn't know at first that she was not going to apply for jobs.  We had a rough time getting into a rhythm after the baby came and then we moved to give us more space.  Those things understandably held up intense job hunting.  And, it took awhile to sort out the excuses for why she didn't apply for this job or that job, or why she didn't want to go to networking opportunities anymore.  It was probably Sept/Oct before we figured that out.  The TV thing didn't start out as all of the time.  But, I would find it on just too much coming and going for work, yet she would say things like "Oh, we don't have this on all day.  We're usually in the play room."  You want to believe your mom.  This is a woman who I thought was one of the most self-responsible people I knew.  I thought she appropriately took responsibility for her actions and I spent ten years really trying to model myself after her.

She didn't have the worst time.  There are worse times for babies.  But, I am glad I didn't let it go on for another year.[/quote]

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