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[quote=Anonymous]I'm going to be staying at home starting this month, but I just feel so sad about this.  I had to fire my own mom.  I obviously didn't know my mom at all, like I thought I did.  She put on a completely different face when we'd visit.  She moved in with us to watch now 16 mo old DD.  We pay her bills and give her money to live off of.  She doesn't pay us rent.  My family doesn't believe in daycare.  I was supposed to stay home originally, but this arrangement seemed beneficial to everyone.  Mom moves in with us post college to find a job in her field.  I was supposed to quit my job when she found one.  But, she hasn't looked at all.  Plans on moving to a cheaper city and working at Walmart or Target if nothing falls in her lap.

Now, I realize just how much my mom is stunting the life I wanted for DD.  DD is 16 mo.  My mom leaves the TV on all day.  ALL. DAY.  She knows we don't want the TV on, but she doesn't whatever she wants to do.  She refuses to take her in the car anywhere for an outing.  Not to the store.  Not to the mall.  Not to the library that is down the street.  Not to any of the toddler activities down the street.  It's all right down the street with enough parking and the traffic isn't bad comparable to the rest of DC.  She only took the baby in the car one time in the past 16 months.  So, she winds up putting the baby to bed at 5:30pm, because she says she's tired.  No, she's bored at being in the house all day Monday through Friday.  I go into work late once or twice a week to take her to an activity myself.  Then these past two days have been nice enough to walk outside or maybe stop at the park.  My mom refused to take her out because she was too lazy.  My mom's in her early 50's.  If she can't take a walk around the block, then we've got a problem.  I don't know what I'm going to do if I get home and she tells me they didn't go for a walk today.  I'm afraid that I might scream at her.  It doesn't matter.  I've only got a few weeks left before I am at home with DD.  I miss the summer when I could take her for a nice walk at 7am, because it was the best temp.

She won't do more than reheat food or boil a potato for DD.  So, I am constantly trying to find foods that the picky toddler will eat that my mom will actually give her.  I make fresh food, buy wonderfully nutritious and often easy to make foods for DD, but I wind up throwing so much out.  It's one thing if DD won't eat it, but it's another if my mom doesn't even offer it to her.  Let me tell you how many damn avocados I had to throw away because I'd have to ask her several days in a row to feed the baby the avocados.  FEED HER THE DAMN AVOCADOS because I just spent $5 on 2 of them and now I have to put them in the trash.

She told me she didn't smoke anymore, but she lied.  She's been smoking the whole time she lived with us.  It was in the bathroom while she was taking care of DD, but after awhile, she started smoking outside while DD napped.  That came to a head about 6 weeks ago when she was visibly upset my husband was coming home early from work.  I had been clear when she moved in that if she was still smoking that she shouldn't move in with us, because it wasn't going to work out.

I address things with her.  I ask her nicely.  I have to advocate for my daughter.  I explain why these things are important.  But, if my mom really doesn't want to do it, she will lie to me.  I don't know what's really happening, but things happen and I suspect things.  She will do whatever is easiest for her, not what is best for DD.  DD would have been better off in daycare.   [/quote]

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