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[quote=Anonymous]I have an 11 year old with ADHD (and other SN issues) who is also very slow and a high school boy who is pretty average.  From fourth grade on, both boys were able to get themselves showered, dressed, eat breakfast, put their dishes in the dishwasher, let the dog out, lock the house and get themselves to school on time all after I left for work.  The only things I did were wake them, pick their clothes and set out their breakfasts.  The had the option of walking, riding their bikes or taking the school bus to get to school, but neither really ever took the bus.  They were never late.  Starting in sixth grade, my oldest got himself up in the morning as well.  I am now working with my 11 year old on getting himself up in the mornings.

As far as homework, I give my kids control over all things reasonable, which I guess is pretty much where they do it and when they do it.  I require that each one of them make a plan and let me know the plan.  I also require that they stick to their plan.  My only rule is that homework cannot start after 8 pm because they won't get it done early enough to get to bed on time.  I don't care where they do it.  I don't care if they listen to music while they do it.  I don't care if they use a purple crayon to do it.  And, I don't check it.  The teachers should know if my kids don't know how to do the work.  I see the grades in the (dreaded) Friday Folder, so I know how it's going.

For me, I think fourth grade was a good time to require independence and I worked long and hard with each of my boys to get them to that point.  (I think it's going to be easier with my younger kids because they're so used to how I run my house).  I expected them to become independent and they have met my expectations 100% along the way.  The biggest issue is that sometimes it's hard not to micromanage the mornings if I'm home.  But, if I tell them to hurry or watch the clock, they remind me that they've never been late and I don't need to nag.

One last thing.  My SN son is on medication during the school day hours, but not until he leaves for the day, so it's not in effect during the morning routine or when he's doing homework.

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