Reply to Does anticipating common marital issues make it easier to combat them?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think talking about how you see each aspect of your lives is important. DH and I had a LOT of talks about working, traveling, finances, kids, entertaining, inlaws, before getting engaged.

And to break those down farther, we talked about all the various ways each topic could go. For example, would we let the inlaws babysit the kids? Would we travel with the inlaws? When we visit would we stay in their home or at a nearby hotel? If they couldn't live on their own would we invite them to move in with us? How often were we open to having them visit? And on and on. These talks went on for months.

I think it helped a lot. I knew that DH would be down for making dinner most weeknights once we had kids. He knew I'd be down for doing most of the laundry. We both prioritized having a cleaning person once a week.

We talked about our goals as individuals, as a family.

At the same time, we are both open to each other evolving, or getting burnt out. When DH is sick, I don't want him cooking the family meals and germing up the kitchen. If he's watching tv and there's a laundry basket next to the couch with clean clothes, he'll fold them as he watches. There's no "That's not my job" going on here. [/quote]

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