Reply to Does anticipating common marital issues make it easier to combat them?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have been with my partner for 2 years and we are starting to talk about getting engaged. He's great and I have no doubts that he will be a fantastic husband. However, after spending so many years reading DCUM (and similar forums) I am starting to feel like certain marital issues are inevitable once you have kids, no matter how good of a couple you are. In particular, I'm thinking about:
1. Not having enough sex once you have kids
2. One parent (usually the female, which of course worries me) doing the lion's share of household/childcare work and feeling resentful
3. Losing your identities as individuals/as a couple once you become parents

I feel like I would be going in to marriage cognizant of these issues, and having some idea of how to combat them. Of course, my partner and I have discussed them and have agreed that we will never be one of those couples. But I'm sure every woman who posts here about how DH works 60 hours/week and never helps with the kids, and every man who posts about how DW never wants sex swore they'd never be one of those couples either.

So - are those issues just an inevitable part of marriage/parenthood? What can we do as a couple to avoid them? [/quote]

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