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[quote=Anonymous]My husband was underemployed (working less than half time, earning about 1/4 of his previous salary) and the resentment really grew on me as well. I understand where you're coming from OP. It never occurred to me kick him out (although he did more of the household & all back up childcare, so he was pulling more of his weight than your DH), but I did at one point say, look financially we can't keep this up. We're barely making our bills, some months we're living beyond on our means, so if you don't have something lined up in the next two months, we just can't afford full time childcare anymore so DD will have to be home with you until something finally does come through. He didn't take it well of course but I said - look I don't want you to be a SAHD if that's not what you want, but looking at the numbers, I don't see a way to keep this up. Take a look at them yourself, maybe you'll see something I don't. If we can really afford it, I'll agree.

He looked at the numbers and couldn't manipulate them to make it work. So he found two more part time gigs - some weeks working 30 hrs, some weeks 60 - and another year later, he finally had a normal, fully salaried job again. The 3 part time jobs added up to enough to cover childcare, so we kept it and I think DH was a lot happier with that than he would have been staying home.

If your DH is suffering from some mental illness, I'd demand that he seek treatment, come up with a plan for how he's going to productively contribute to the family everyday, and take it from there. If he's really mentally ill, then he's not fit to watch the kids full time so your options may be more limited than mine were but kicking him out wouldn't be my first step.[/quote]

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