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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in my early 30s, married, with one young child. My mom has recently taken to sending me EVERY weather report that shows "bad" or "urgent" news. Like I don't know how to turn on the tv and figure it out for myself. Maybe she thinks I'm too busy to check and wants me to know ahead of time,[b] but it is just starting to make me feel anxiety and I think it's because SHE'S anxious about it and it's transferring onto me.[/b] I don't know. She doesn't have a ton of close relationships in her life (really none besides with me) so I feel like I take the brunt of pretty much everything. Is she nuts or do other people's moms do this? Is this something I'm gonna start doing to my poor daughter when she's my age?!? Gahh![/quote]OP, I think you're on to something there. I had a pattern with my mom where she would say something and I could tell she felt anxious and then I would either get anxious or get angry at her for feeling anxious. At some point I realized that just because my mom was anxious, that didn't mean that I had to feel anxious or angry and I worked on separating emotionally at those moments. It was hard and in some ways not going right to anger was hard because I had to come to grips with how anxious I felt and it was hard to sit there with it. But as I was able to set internal boundaries with her (and I had to set a few with her verbally as well), I was able to separate from her emotionally and her anxiety had less control over me. I was able to see her as, say, the anxious old neighbor lady down the block who, of course, would be anxious about silly things and I could be reassuring and supportive and yet not take it seriously or have it affect me. Just keep reminding yourself that even though your mother feels that way, [i]you[/i] don't have to. Hang in there![/quote] not the OP but I would love to be able to do this with my mom. Did you work with a therapist or something? Just do it on your own?[/quote]
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