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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't make your father choose between you and your mother.  That's really not fair.  If she truly does have a rotator cuff issue (which you admit is painful and limiting), then he's right not to leave her.  It sounds like your father is a loving grandparent and father, but he's also a husband.  I'd talk to him and tell him that you're very disappointed that he can't come, and perhaps ask if your mother is doing any therapy that might resolve the problem.  What will starting a fight with him accomplish?  [/quote]

This, OP, this! A very good response.

OP, you seem to veer in your post from praising your dad for being involved with your kids as much as possible when he comes, to blasting him for staying home with your mom when she is injured. Can you see that those behaviors both come from the same place within him? He's being involved with her right now, just as he is involved with you and your kids when he sees you. But when he gives his attention to her and not to you/your kids, you resent it. Let this go. Your childhood issues are totally in your way here; you also veer into "he enabled mom to be awful" territory (after saying he was a good granddad...). You can't seem to get out of mom's shadow, and dad is great by you, until he puts mom first.

Sure, mom may be a witch, or at least neglectful. But as the PP above says, why start a fight with dad -- whom you say is pretty much OK here and now even if you have old resentments against him?

Make this an issue if you want to alienate your dad, who seems OK overall and who makes a real effort with your kids. Do you really want to alienate him by saying in essence that he should choose between your family and his wife? Do just that -- if you want to ensure your kids don't see him.[/quote]

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