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[quote=Anonymous]I am not divorced but have friends who are and have watched how incredibly hard it is on the kids.

It takes a lot longer than you as the adult realize for the kids to get used to the routine. So many times friends have said their kids were used to things after a couple months but from the outside I could see and hear from the kids that no, they were used to it, they simply had no choice.  Give the kids at least a year to really settle into the routine of however it is custody is split.

It is really tough those first few months when there are games, school events, playdates, etc when the kids have to get used to not having both parents present and the whole dynamic of how those things were handled change. Being patient when kids mention how sad they are about their other parent missing out and try not to make snide or flip comments for the benefit of the adults who might be around to make yourself feel better.

Adults should give themselves a year to work through their own stuff and help their kids adjust before taking their attention and focus to dating and finding someone new.  That whole things sucks away so much emotional resources that the kids end up with no one to support them as they transition into being in a divorced family.[/quote]

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