Reply to Guys, how do you feel when she says no?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never realized how deeply rejected men feel when their wives turn them down for sex until I began reading this forum.  Whenever my dh asked for sex and I said no, I never thought of it as that big of a deal.  Oh well, we'll do it next time.  Then I read this post here from a guy who described in detail how sad it made him, how it just shot down his whole self-esteem, especially when it happened over and over again.  I think it leads to some guys cheating.

Do other men feel this way?  Is it bigger for you emotionally than your wife realizes?[/quote]

As with so many things, it depends. If you regularly have sex and the frequency significantly outweighs the rejections, then that's one thing. If you're having sex infrequently as it is, then each rejection is magnified.

For men I think (warning - gross generalization coming) it's a higher priority. No matter how bad my day or how tired I am, if my wife gave me the look, I'd rally. She could wake me up in the middle of the night and I'd be quite happy with the idea. On the other hand, I think (again, generally) that if a woman is tired the last thing she wants is her husband/SO coming at her with that horny look, and if I woke my wife up in the middle of the night looking for sex, there's a good chance I might not live to wake up in the morning.[/quote]

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